Something Completely Different

Every once in a while, the awesome comedian Loni Love will pick a topic on her Twitter feed and initiate a trending-topic cascade. Yaknow, posting something funny with a hash-tag and getting people to respond creatively with the hope of her choosing to retweet your tweet? Anyway, the other day's topic was four words that you might utter after having sex. Now I am a fairly creative guy, but something about that topic really clicked with my carnal mind. In short... I. Went. Hog. WILD.

Submitted for your salacious reading pleasure:

#fourwordsaftersex "HELL to the no!" 

#fourwordsaftersex "Did you just fart?" 

#fourwordsaftersex "Clean that shit up." 

#fourwordsaftersex "And your name is?" 

#fourwordsaftersex "Go home now, bitch." 

#fourwordsaftersex "Get the hell out." 

#fourwordsaftersex "Where are my cigarettes?" 

#fourwordsaftersex "I have had bigger." 

#fourwordsaftersex "Ever heard of SANTORUM?" 

#fourwordsaftersex "What were you expecting?" 

#fourwordsaftersex "Straight guy, bent hole." 

#fourwordsaftersex "Still think you're straight?" 

#fourwordsaftersex "That hole's better... see?" 

#fourwordsaftersex "Next time stay quiet." 

#fourwordsaftersex "Next time stay awake." 

#fourwordsaftersex "Future deliveries in rear." 

#fourwordsaftersex "I liked it there." 

#fourwordsaftersex "Who taught you that?" 

#fourwordsaftersex "Where'd your friend go?" 

#fourwordsaftersex "Bring your brother tomorrow." 

#fourwordsaftersex "Your brother was better." 

#fourwordsaftersex "Your father was better." 

#fourwordsaftersex "Your son was better." 

#fourwordsaftersex "Prince would be proud." 

#fourwordsaftersex "No, he's not dead." 

#fourwordsaftersex "You come here often?" 

#fourwordsaftersex "Tastes great! Less filling!"

#fourwordsaftersex "Did you break it?" 

#fourwordsaftersex "Eight ball. Rear pocket." 

#fourwordsaftersex "What's your hourly rate?" 

#fourwordsaftersex "Do you take DiscoverCard?" 

#fourwordsaftersex "The sex tape's better." 

#fourwordsaftersex "Boom goes the dynamite." 

#fourwordsaftersex "I... like... big... BUTTS" 

#fourwordsaftersex "Whoomp! There It Is!" 

#fourwordsaftersex "My hips don't lie." 

#fourwordsaftersex "That's NOT eleven inches." 

#fourwordsaftersex "You're really a Congressman?" 

#fourwordsaftersex "You're really an intern?" 

#fourwordsaftersex "Damn you, brown liquor!"

And finally, to honor Independence Day and those who fight for our freedom...

#fourwordsaftersex "Don't ask don't tell."