Thanksgiving Day - 24 November 2011

Wow, it's been a long time since I've blogged. School got crazy. I can write more about that later, but for now here is my statement for this day...

Let us pause for a minute to remember that from God through Jesus we receive all things.

Let us pause for a minute to honor the sacrifices of our first-responder compatriots who are working today to put out fires and/or save our lives on a moment's notice.

Let us pause for a minute to honor the thousands of our military compatriots who are away from home today, willing to die for us without regard to whether we support wars.

Let us pause for a minute to honor the thousands of families with empty seats at their tables because their children died in such wars.

Let us pause for a minute.

Let us pause.

Let us pray for the strength to build a better world for future generations so that no families will ever have such empty seats at their tables.

Let us pray for the strength.

Let us pray.

Spiritual Journal Entry #5

This is an odd entry... having been so sick for so many days this semester... like, missing most of two weeks of school... I cannot reflect on the spiritual practice from class on 10/10 because I wasn't there. What I can do, though, is write a reflection on an intersection between some things in my Rule Of Life and my experience on Friday 10/14.

Points of context from my Rule Of Life:

1) I committed to attend Labyrinth Walks at Grace Cathedral in SF

2) I expressed a stretch-objective regarding movement-based praxis

It is ironic that I would express my tendency to avoid movement-based πρᾶξις when I am so deeply interested in labyrinth-walking. There's an obvious irony, yes, but on Friday 10/14/2011 something happened while walking the labyrinth at Grace Cathedral that really synthesized several threads of my spiritual life. While walking the labyrinth I hit upon the concept of space-holding: I know from my worship experiences at COR-SF that I am a space-holder and I gladly embrace that role which God has given me. What was not so clear to me until this week's labyrinth walk was that my role as space-holder in Pentecostal worship also appears while moving through a labyrinth; this became clear when I sensed a woman behind me on the walk and -- acting totally on instinct -- I held space at a turn so that she could pass me.

I believe that the power of labyrinth-walking lies in the metaphor of the intentional walk. When a group of people walk a labyrinth, we are pilgrims on a shared divine path. Out of many spirits, one intent. Από πολλά, ένα. Some of us are natural lead-feet, some of us are stop-and-smell-the-roses, and yes... some of us are space-holders. I now understand that my identity as a space-holder appears even in movement-based praxis.

Will the circle, be unbroken, by and by Lord, by and by?

There's a greater home, awaiting, in the sky Lord, in the sky.

Sicky Sickerson Speaks!

Being sick, in a word, sucks. A really awful cough-gack-sinus thing has been going around... thank God for my friend Anne's access to ciprofloxacin. I am not normally a believer in the rush to use antibiotics, but in this case it was necessary. I had been running myself ragged... getting waaaaaay too crazybusy with school, worship, and in general just going too fast. It's ironic that the mantra for my Tuesday night Biblical Character Study class is SLOW DOWN... sheesh, mayhaps I need to listen to that mantra!

Anyway... that's it. Sicky Sickerson has spoken.

A Day We All Knew Would Come

It is done. The master visionary, Steven Paul "Steve" Jobs, has left the building.

I really have no words to explain my feelings at this time. I didn't know the man; hell, he didn't even do me the courtesy of following up with me when I stepped forward to express my passionate desire to work for his company. But the simple truth is that this man had a profound impact on my relationship to technology, to the printed word, and to music. From the first day I used the Macintosh back in the Spring of 1989, my relationship to the world changed forever. There really are no words to adequately express my gratitude. Thank you sir. Thank you. A million times, thank you.

Αναπαύσου εν ειρήνη, ω καπετάνιος καπετάνιος μου!

Rest In Peace, oh captain my captain!

Spiritual Journal Entry #4

The theme of the week? Language. This was the week that I led my small group in a spiritual practice. I sang three Hebrew lines from a standard Passover Seder liturgy and then had them sing a dual-note Κύριε Ελέησον chant in call-and-response fashion while I sang the Beatitudes from the Sermon On The Mount in the same two notes. The irony is that another classmate had just led us in prayer using a Psalm which he read in English and then in Tongan. It truly is a blessing to be surrounded by so many different languages and modes of expression in our various connections to God. Now if I can just manage to get through this latest round of cough-gack-shit! Yes, that's right. I am apparently sick. Again. Let me be at peace and know that God has my back... I missed church this past Sunday, and my Monday morning NT class, and my Tuesday evening class as well. It's not a good time to be sick. LORD, I ask you to carry me through this period in the semester when things get so crazy.

May my cry come before you, LORD; give me understanding according to your word. May my supplication come before you; deliver me according to your promise. May my lips overflow with praise, for you teach me your decrees. May my tongue sing of your word, for all your commands are righteous. May your hand be ready to help me, for I have chosen your precepts. I long for your salvation, LORD, and your law gives me delight. Let me live that I may praise you, and may your laws sustain me. I have strayed like a lost sheep. Seek your servant, for I have not forgotten your commands. (Psalm 119:169-176)

Spiritual Journal Entry #3

This week we did Martin Luther's Four-Stranded Garland, and it really works for me. But I was deeply and profoundly disappointed with how the Confession strand was handled. I know that at least one student in the class went into a total emotional shutdown when the word was mentioned, and the instructors did not adequately explain the role of that strand; the student in question never did re-engage that afternoon.

In addition, another student asked about this whole "why do we have to believe that we are dirty and need to be cleaned" b/c she is not from a Christian background and I think the instructors did a poor job of explaining that point as well. It felt like the instructors could not even understand the question b/c they are so Christian-focused. Perhaps they need a refresher on the meaning of the words interfaith and ecumenism? But back to the point... the Four-Stranded Garland practice does work for me. I need to devote more time to trying it for real some day on my own!

Death-Penalty Hypocrisy: Part Two

WHERE WERE YOU WHEN THE STATE OF ALABAMA KILLED A DEFINITELY-GUILTY BLACK MAN THE VERY NEXT NIGHT AFTER THE STATE OF GEORGIA KILLED A POSSIBLY-INNOCENT BLACK MAN?

I AM TALKING TO YOU AL SHARPTON AND DESMOND TUTU.

WHERE WAS THE ANGER AT STATE-SPONSORED KILLING WHEN IT INVOLVED A BLACK MAN IN ALABAMA WHO ADMITTED HIS GUILT, WHO APOLOGIZED TO THE FAMILY WHOSE LOVED ONE HE KILLED, AND WHO MET THE GOD OF FORGIVENESS OPENLY WITH ADMISSION OF HIS SINS?

WHAT IS PHILIP YELLING ABOUT NOW? His name was Derrick Mason and he was a cold-blooded killer who forced a woman to strip her clothes off so that he could look at her titillating features just before he shot her in the face. Clearly, he deserved to die. Ooopsie... I thought you were opposed to the death-penalty?

People on the political far-left have, for years, tried to guilt-trip me into supporting a moral outrage against the death penalty. As if I am not fully capable of reaching my own moral conclusions about the value of every human life, as I learned from my personal Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?

I am a white man from the South, folks: I grew up in the part of the country where the vast majority of state-sponsored killing occurs and I know for a fact that it is applied capriciously and racist-ly. Please stop insulting my intelligence by trying to teach me something I already know. Turn the mirror back on your own face and ask yourself this: why you weren't holding a prayer vigil in the PSR Chapel this week for the white-supremacist in Texas, or the black man in Alabama who openly admitted that he was guilty? I am so tired of knee-jerk politics from both the right-wingers and from arrogant holier-than-thou left-wingers. You make a lie of the values you claim to hold by applying them capriciously, and this makes you no better than the right-wingers. Stop doing the Republicans' work for them by engaging in Republican-style moral hypocrisy.

I have spent much of my adult life, since moving to California almost 23 years ago, shouting against the Republican hate-mongering shit-machine... and yet, my siblings on the far-left make it hard for me to stand with you this week. C'mon folks, throw me a frickin' bone here. Grow a spine and stop acting like a bunch of vapid celebrity-groupie armchair-quarterbacking moral police. If you identify as liberal or radical Christians then stand up and admit to your own moral epic-fail this week. Express regret for the opportunity you squandered this week to make a powerful Christian statement against the death penalty.

Let's review:

This week there were three state-sponsored killings in three states in the Bible Belt.

This week those three states killed one white supremacist and two black men.

This week Texas and Alabama killed two men whose cases were [legally] air-tight.

This week Georgia killed one man who might have been innocent.

I pray that radical-left Christians will ask themselves one core question: if Jesus were presented with three state-sponsored killings in a two-day period across three states that are socially dominated by people who claim to follow His teachings, what would Jesus have done?

Death-Penalty Hypocrisy

Note that in this post I am totally skirting any admission of where I stand on the issue. The point of this post is not to place my beliefs up for public scrutiny or discussion; my point is to extend the argument on the death penalty and to perhaps educate some folks so they examine their own position more consciously.

People who oppose the death penalty will mark Wednesday 9/21/2011 as the latest in the long line of state-sponsored killing in American history. But did you know that two people were killed in state-sponsored killings here yesterday? Or were you so focused on what appears to be another blatantly racist application of the death penalty in the South that you totally ignored the other state-sponsored killing, which also occurred in the Bible Belt and which was the direct outcome of race-hatred?

Everyone is on the "Troy Davis bandwagon" and folks on that bandwagon have been making some powerful moral arguments. What bothers me personally about this is that everyone is going on and on about the "wrongness of the death penalty" with regard to a possibly innocent black man... and nobody seems to have even heard of a man named Lawrence Brewer. I HAVE NOT HEARD ONE PEEP OF PROTEST AGAINST THE EXECUTION OF AN AVOWED RACIST PROUD-TO-BE-KKK WHITE MAN WHO WAS EXECUTED IN TEXAS ON THE SAME DAY.

So, let's review: do we actually oppose the death penalty, really? Or do we only oppose it when it is being applied in such a heinous way like with Troy Davis? I saw a protest sign equating the execution of Troy Davis with lynching -- equating the execution of a black man with lynching since it seems quite clear that something was fundamentally wrong with the state of Georgia's case against him. I get it.

I'm a white Southerner; believe me I get it.

But, are we protesting the execution of Troy Davis because it was a vile and disgusting racist miscarriage of justice, or because we think that state-sponsored killing is wrong? And for that matter, here's my challenge question: is there a middle-ground with the death penalty? Is it possible to maintain moral outrage against the death penalty in all cases "but"? Yaknow, all cases "but" those cases where we define the criminal act as deserving of death? And how is such a position any morally different than stating something like "I oppose abortion in all cases but when the mother's life is at risk?" 

I would think when it comes to human life that the argument becomes a binary: either we are against the death penalty or we are not. Period. If we want to say that the death penalty is morally unacceptable then WHY WERE WE NOT PROTESTING AGAINST THE EXECUTION OF THE RACIST WHITE MURDERER AS WELL? Do we oppose the death penalty only when it is the latest Cause Célèbre or when it is being applied in such an obviously unjust and racist way?

My opinion is that if we OPPOSE the death penalty then we OPPOSE it. Period.
It's not a gradation of morality, is it?

Spiritual Journal Entry #2

What a day this was in class. Today in small group, we did not even get to the scheduled "spiritual practice" example, because my group contains eight beautiful personalities that are experiencing the glory and the agony of spiritual growth that occurs when stepping forward to serve the Savior. I have no doubt in my mind that the Holy Spirit is working through these beautiful people... it's just odd to realize that there are ways in which God is making things easy for me by comparison to other people. The oddest part is that I am so committed to my lovingkindness and desire to support my fellow seminarian pilgrims that I have not shared much with them... about my father's health, about the miasma of my parents' marriage, about my tremendous sense of impending financial doom, etc etc etc. Maybe I will need to work on that?

But for now, what was amazing about today's praxis was that we held each other's pain, loved each other, and nobody was left alone in their struggles. We could do a lot worse with our spiritual practices.

Spiritual Journal Entry #1

Over the next few weeks, I will be keeping a spirit-journal for one of my MDiv classes. There will (hopefully) be other entries in my blog besides these journal entries... but we'll see how the Holy Spirit and my schedule end up interacting with each other!

My first reaction when this class began was... simply... oh shit, that woman who attacked me in last semester's reflection session is in this class. I'll show her: I'll use my newfound loving connections with my fellow first-year MDiv students to isolate her. How messed up is that shit? But the simple reality is that even though her misplaced anti-male hostility toward me was very real, I do not wish her ill. In fact, I feel pity for her: the more I hear about how many people on campus dislike her, the more I wish I could get along with her. I just don't know how. This came into my mind when we were doing our "group share" and she mentioned something I thought was very sweet. While the class was doing its prayerful meditation, lifting up each student's "share," I felt a genuine desire/hope for reconciliation. I have no idea what form it will take, or whether it will even come to pass. But what I do know is that I placed the intent out there as an outgrowth from today's meditative practice.