Spiritual Journal Entry #3

This week we did Martin Luther's Four-Stranded Garland, and it really works for me. But I was deeply and profoundly disappointed with how the Confession strand was handled. I know that at least one student in the class went into a total emotional shutdown when the word was mentioned, and the instructors did not adequately explain the role of that strand; the student in question never did re-engage that afternoon.

In addition, another student asked about this whole "why do we have to believe that we are dirty and need to be cleaned" b/c she is not from a Christian background and I think the instructors did a poor job of explaining that point as well. It felt like the instructors could not even understand the question b/c they are so Christian-focused. Perhaps they need a refresher on the meaning of the words interfaith and ecumenism? But back to the point... the Four-Stranded Garland practice does work for me. I need to devote more time to trying it for real some day on my own!

Death-Penalty Hypocrisy: Part Two

WHERE WERE YOU WHEN THE STATE OF ALABAMA KILLED A DEFINITELY-GUILTY BLACK MAN THE VERY NEXT NIGHT AFTER THE STATE OF GEORGIA KILLED A POSSIBLY-INNOCENT BLACK MAN?

I AM TALKING TO YOU AL SHARPTON AND DESMOND TUTU.

WHERE WAS THE ANGER AT STATE-SPONSORED KILLING WHEN IT INVOLVED A BLACK MAN IN ALABAMA WHO ADMITTED HIS GUILT, WHO APOLOGIZED TO THE FAMILY WHOSE LOVED ONE HE KILLED, AND WHO MET THE GOD OF FORGIVENESS OPENLY WITH ADMISSION OF HIS SINS?

WHAT IS PHILIP YELLING ABOUT NOW? His name was Derrick Mason and he was a cold-blooded killer who forced a woman to strip her clothes off so that he could look at her titillating features just before he shot her in the face. Clearly, he deserved to die. Ooopsie... I thought you were opposed to the death-penalty?

People on the political far-left have, for years, tried to guilt-trip me into supporting a moral outrage against the death penalty. As if I am not fully capable of reaching my own moral conclusions about the value of every human life, as I learned from my personal Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?

I am a white man from the South, folks: I grew up in the part of the country where the vast majority of state-sponsored killing occurs and I know for a fact that it is applied capriciously and racist-ly. Please stop insulting my intelligence by trying to teach me something I already know. Turn the mirror back on your own face and ask yourself this: why you weren't holding a prayer vigil in the PSR Chapel this week for the white-supremacist in Texas, or the black man in Alabama who openly admitted that he was guilty? I am so tired of knee-jerk politics from both the right-wingers and from arrogant holier-than-thou left-wingers. You make a lie of the values you claim to hold by applying them capriciously, and this makes you no better than the right-wingers. Stop doing the Republicans' work for them by engaging in Republican-style moral hypocrisy.

I have spent much of my adult life, since moving to California almost 23 years ago, shouting against the Republican hate-mongering shit-machine... and yet, my siblings on the far-left make it hard for me to stand with you this week. C'mon folks, throw me a frickin' bone here. Grow a spine and stop acting like a bunch of vapid celebrity-groupie armchair-quarterbacking moral police. If you identify as liberal or radical Christians then stand up and admit to your own moral epic-fail this week. Express regret for the opportunity you squandered this week to make a powerful Christian statement against the death penalty.

Let's review:

This week there were three state-sponsored killings in three states in the Bible Belt.

This week those three states killed one white supremacist and two black men.

This week Texas and Alabama killed two men whose cases were [legally] air-tight.

This week Georgia killed one man who might have been innocent.

I pray that radical-left Christians will ask themselves one core question: if Jesus were presented with three state-sponsored killings in a two-day period across three states that are socially dominated by people who claim to follow His teachings, what would Jesus have done?

Death-Penalty Hypocrisy

Note that in this post I am totally skirting any admission of where I stand on the issue. The point of this post is not to place my beliefs up for public scrutiny or discussion; my point is to extend the argument on the death penalty and to perhaps educate some folks so they examine their own position more consciously.

People who oppose the death penalty will mark Wednesday 9/21/2011 as the latest in the long line of state-sponsored killing in American history. But did you know that two people were killed in state-sponsored killings here yesterday? Or were you so focused on what appears to be another blatantly racist application of the death penalty in the South that you totally ignored the other state-sponsored killing, which also occurred in the Bible Belt and which was the direct outcome of race-hatred?

Everyone is on the "Troy Davis bandwagon" and folks on that bandwagon have been making some powerful moral arguments. What bothers me personally about this is that everyone is going on and on about the "wrongness of the death penalty" with regard to a possibly innocent black man... and nobody seems to have even heard of a man named Lawrence Brewer. I HAVE NOT HEARD ONE PEEP OF PROTEST AGAINST THE EXECUTION OF AN AVOWED RACIST PROUD-TO-BE-KKK WHITE MAN WHO WAS EXECUTED IN TEXAS ON THE SAME DAY.

So, let's review: do we actually oppose the death penalty, really? Or do we only oppose it when it is being applied in such a heinous way like with Troy Davis? I saw a protest sign equating the execution of Troy Davis with lynching -- equating the execution of a black man with lynching since it seems quite clear that something was fundamentally wrong with the state of Georgia's case against him. I get it.

I'm a white Southerner; believe me I get it.

But, are we protesting the execution of Troy Davis because it was a vile and disgusting racist miscarriage of justice, or because we think that state-sponsored killing is wrong? And for that matter, here's my challenge question: is there a middle-ground with the death penalty? Is it possible to maintain moral outrage against the death penalty in all cases "but"? Yaknow, all cases "but" those cases where we define the criminal act as deserving of death? And how is such a position any morally different than stating something like "I oppose abortion in all cases but when the mother's life is at risk?" 

I would think when it comes to human life that the argument becomes a binary: either we are against the death penalty or we are not. Period. If we want to say that the death penalty is morally unacceptable then WHY WERE WE NOT PROTESTING AGAINST THE EXECUTION OF THE RACIST WHITE MURDERER AS WELL? Do we oppose the death penalty only when it is the latest Cause Célèbre or when it is being applied in such an obviously unjust and racist way?

My opinion is that if we OPPOSE the death penalty then we OPPOSE it. Period.
It's not a gradation of morality, is it?

Spiritual Journal Entry #2

What a day this was in class. Today in small group, we did not even get to the scheduled "spiritual practice" example, because my group contains eight beautiful personalities that are experiencing the glory and the agony of spiritual growth that occurs when stepping forward to serve the Savior. I have no doubt in my mind that the Holy Spirit is working through these beautiful people... it's just odd to realize that there are ways in which God is making things easy for me by comparison to other people. The oddest part is that I am so committed to my lovingkindness and desire to support my fellow seminarian pilgrims that I have not shared much with them... about my father's health, about the miasma of my parents' marriage, about my tremendous sense of impending financial doom, etc etc etc. Maybe I will need to work on that?

But for now, what was amazing about today's praxis was that we held each other's pain, loved each other, and nobody was left alone in their struggles. We could do a lot worse with our spiritual practices.

Spiritual Journal Entry #1

Over the next few weeks, I will be keeping a spirit-journal for one of my MDiv classes. There will (hopefully) be other entries in my blog besides these journal entries... but we'll see how the Holy Spirit and my schedule end up interacting with each other!

My first reaction when this class began was... simply... oh shit, that woman who attacked me in last semester's reflection session is in this class. I'll show her: I'll use my newfound loving connections with my fellow first-year MDiv students to isolate her. How messed up is that shit? But the simple reality is that even though her misplaced anti-male hostility toward me was very real, I do not wish her ill. In fact, I feel pity for her: the more I hear about how many people on campus dislike her, the more I wish I could get along with her. I just don't know how. This came into my mind when we were doing our "group share" and she mentioned something I thought was very sweet. While the class was doing its prayerful meditation, lifting up each student's "share," I felt a genuine desire/hope for reconciliation. I have no idea what form it will take, or whether it will even come to pass. But what I do know is that I placed the intent out there as an outgrowth from today's meditative practice.

The Best Film I've Seen In Years

It's a veritable classic. It has the:

• Sensibility of Monty Python
• Pathos of Les Miserables
• Squick of Event Horizon...

And it even features lots of boobies and a gun. Seriously.

Check out my friend Sarah Thompson's new film. It is called The Truth About Zombies and you can view it for free on Sarah's YouTube Channel -- spread the word about this film. Show some love to The Sarah!

Orientation Week

What a week this has been. I was remarking earlier today to a seminary friend that history will record something miraculous: in the week before Labor Day 2011, I will have attended church five times. That's right, five times in one week: two Pentecostal gospel services, a standard mainline Protestant MCC-ish service, a Taizé service, and a nearly indescribable service called Awaken that was designed by three second-year MDiv classmates. More on the impact of Awaken, later.

And I gotta tell ya... it works for me. I find that the more time I spend in "church mode," the more normal it feels. And the more time I want to spend in church mode. God has truly worked miracles in me this week; I know now, clear as day, that the Holy Spirit has been fixing the cracks in this broken vessel from inside... and the Spirit has even been fixing cracks I didn't know I had. Δόξα εν υψίστοις Θεώ!

I just re-read the last entry I uploaded to this blog before orientation began; I got chills from its prescience. A new truth has appeared... seven months ago my friend Gina and I put forth the thought that PSR wouldn't know what had hit it this fall when we started our core MDiv studies; this remains true. However, I had tacitly made the assumption that Gina and I would be prime-movers in such a shift; I am now convinced that God had even greater things planned all along:

The bottom-line is that God has drawn a staggeringly beautiful group of people to PSR in order to begin their studies this fall. I do not even know where to begin; there were honestly only one or two new students at the entire orientation who gave me that not-so-fresh feeling and even those few people did not trigger the kind of ickies that were triggered in me by some of the students I met last year. There are two guys on whom I have a crush that will never go anywhere because they are straight, and there is another guy on whom I have a crush that will likely never go anywhere because even though he is gay he is also like 25 years old... and yet, this is all perfectly fine because I just do not know how I would have the time or the emotional bandwidth for a relationship at this point:

A core reason is that my Sobriety Ministry at COR-SF will start in less than two weeks, and also because the Holy Spirit has moved me to work with Gina to design a new series of worship services following in the lead of what my now-second-year MDiv classmates have done with their Awaken service design. This series of services will operate under the name Reconciliation... styled in the Greek as ΣΥΝΔΙΑΛΛΑΓΉ (Sūndēăllăghé)... and whose tag-line is Giving Voice To The Silenced.

God is most definitely still speaking. AMHN.

What Kind Of Man Would I Be?

What kind of man would I be if I didn't take a small minute, right now, to let my dear readers know that my entries may get a little less frequent on the morrow. Why, you ask? School starts next week and at the urging of my beautiful friend Gina's beautiful wife Sarah, I am going to participate fully in the New Student Orientation. They take Fall orientation quite seriously at my seminary; this week I will have five 12-to-14 hour days in a row. Praise Jesus, bring it on!

Am I looking forward to getting up at 630AM each day this week? Not really. Do I have a choice? Yes; I have permission to pick-and-choose based on what strikes my fancy. But... would I do that with the Bible? Would I do that with God? Would I do that with my salvation in Jesus Christ?

The answers are self-evident.

Today at church my brothers-in-Christ Lee and Jesse announced the formal date for the kickoff of the new ministry we are starting at COR-SF... Recovery In Faith. As Gary Busey once pointed out on Celebrity Rehab: Son Of a Bitch, Everything's Real. The Bishop was there today and she definitely invoked the Holy Spirit; the Spirit chose to anoint Charlene, of all people. What an amazing musician she is... the Spirit was in her, she was literally howling with God's Love... and she never missed one note on the organ. God is still speaking, Jesus is still healing, and the Holy Spirit is still moving across the waters. All things considered, life isn't so bad. The Bishop even lifted up our sobriety ministry in her homily. Son Of a Bitch, Everything's Real.

In late January 2011, I sat in a room in Mudd Hall and met some beautiful people. I want to take a minute to recognize my friends Gina Pond, who is currently sleeping in the next room (she is staying with me this week), and Robbie Gilchrist. Robbie is a wonderful young man who reminds me that yes indeed we have brave allies among the cisgender straight white men in this world... THANK YOU JESUS FOR THE GIFT OF PEOPLE LIKE ROBBIE... I am profoundly blessed to be in the company of such excellent and admirable hobbits.

Just before wishing her a good night's rest, I pointed out to Gina that almost exactly seven months ago, we reached a point where we began to think that PSR wasn't going to know what hit it when we start our core MDiv classes. That was before I'd become such close friends with Lee, or been abused by Lindsey's hypocrisy, or found my stride at City Of Refuge, or met Michael Cronin (with whom Gina, Robbie, and I will begin MDiv core-classes this semester). In short, I can now see that there was an air of prophecy in Gina's statement about what we are about to bring into the PSR community in the Fall of 2011. Let the games begin. For those of you who know Fraggle Rock: the Trash Heap, has spoken. Nyeeeeeh!

Greet one another with a holy kiss. All the churches of Christ send greetings. I urge you, brothers and sisters, to watch out for those who cause divisions and put obstacles in your way contrary to the teaching you have learned. Keep away from them. Such people are not serving our Lord Christ, but their own appetites. By smooth talk and flattery they deceive the minds of naive people. Everyone has heard about your obedience, so I rejoice because of you; but I want you to be wise about what is good and innocent about what is evil. (Romans 16:16-19)

Steve Schulz for President!

Ok, no I don't really mean that. Well... actually, Steve would be a better Secretary Of State... I think I want Buster Posey for president actually. Anyway... I hung out with a really awesome guy I met 2 years ago on an airplane. [Cue the porn music...] No no no! It wasn't like that! Sheesh!

Anyway, I want to give recognition to my recently-reconnected-with friend Steve. The simple truth is that the world needs more people like him. The millennial generation gets such a bad rap; if one watches media coverage then it would seem that the world of folks born in the late 1980s is defined by Facebook, Jersey Shore, and Kim Kardashian's allegedly callipygian badonkadonk. Not so for this young man. Steve comes from a long line of religious conservatives but (bless his parents) he was raised to love his neighbor. He understands Islam, his passion calls him to stand up for my civil rights -- God bless my heterosexual allies! -- and he actually gives a damn about places like Syria.

How long will all of you defend the unjust and show partiality to the wicked? Defend the weak and the fatherless; uphold the cause of the poor and the oppressed. Rescue the weak and the needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked. (Psalm 82:2-4 NIV)

I must say that I have really been struggling over the last year or so regarding my fear that the world may have reached its tipping point -- the point from which we cannot recover, the point where the only way "forward" is through a total global collapse. As a Christian, I do not fear such a thing on a spiritual level: in fact, if it is going to happen at all then I want it to be a total collapse so that we can just get on with the Second Coming already! But, it's this weird viscous in-between shit that drives me bonkers. Not knowing how I am going to find part-time work with enough pay to get by and not be homeless by the end of this year; not knowing how my parents are going to weather the current shit-storm they are processing regarding my dad's health and living arrangements; not having any clarity on how I am supposed to answer God's call without ending up living in my car (hello God... I'm not preaching a prosperity-theology here... but... dude, seriously, could ya throw me a frickin' bone re: how I am supposed to survive?)

But when talking with Steve, I see a path forward. I see hope for the future. I see someone who actually gives a shit. Praise God for the people of Steve's generation who have his passion for justice.

Your older sister was Samaria, who lived to the north of you with her daughters; and your younger sister, who lived to the south of you with her daughters, was Sodom. You not only followed their ways and copied their detestable practices, but in all your ways you soon became more depraved than they. As surely as I live, declares the Sovereign LORD, your sister Sodom and her daughters never did what you and your daughters have done. Now this was the sin of your sister Sodom: she and her daughters were arrogant, overfed, and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy. They were haughty and did detestable things before me. Therefore I did away with them as you have seen. Samaria did not commit half the sins you did. You have done more detestable things than they, and have made your sisters seem righteous by all these things you have done. (Ezekiel 16:46-51 NIV)

What Part Of "For All" Is Unclear?

Φίλιππος δουλος Θεού με μαρτυρία για την ιεροσύνη του συνόλου των πιστών ·

Philip, slave of God, with a testimony to the priesthood of all believers:

Exactly 1010 days ago I was born again in Jesus Christ. I reached a point where I could no longer ignore the call of the Holy Spirit and yet, there was still this nagging issue: I am a gay man, can I really be a Christian? I sat with God about this, and the answer to my prayers on it could not have been clearer... it is not only possible but it is part of God's Plan for me. But why, God? Why me?

The simple truth is that God's LGBTQI children are suffering at the hands of Satan. The enemy has infiltrated into the highest ranks of Christian leadership globally and he has possessed many who call themselves Christians. Recognize them by listening to their theology: whenever the message does not start from the undeniable love of the Good News, particularly whenever a self-declared Christian tries to shut the doors using theology from the Old Testament to exclude God's LGBTQI children from an extravagant welcome into the Kingdom of Heaven, that person is under the control of Satan. Pray for their soul's deliverance from evil, and move away from them into the light of salvation in Christ Jesus. ΑΜΗΝ!

As I came to understand the truth of this, I connected with the MCC movement... and simply by opening myself to God, Facebook became a place where I have connected not just with other gay Christians but also with other people who are beginning to finally, after many years, stand up and confront the enemy face-to-face. We must stand and roar loudly, in another day of Pentecost, directly into the face of Satan and all who are in his service -- particularly those who do not recognize that they are under his thumb. We must rebuke the enemy as our Savior did. And Jesus answered and said unto him, "Get thee behind Me, Satan! For it is written: Thou shalt worship the Lord thy God, and Him only shalt thou serve." (Luke 4:8 21-KJV)

We must be warriors for peace in spreading the Good News of Jesus Christ. We must embrace the priesthood of all believers and we must demand that the doors remain wide-open for all who hear the call of salvation by faith. We must not sit back and allow Satan to tear our siblings in Christ away from their Salvation. We must not sit back while the Republicans continue trying to take ownership of our Savior and to defile His holy name for their political agenda. Not in God's name.